Fear and control

I used to have these reoccurring nightmares that the airplane I was traveling in crashed, it was always over the same U.S. state of Kansas which is funny because the close calls I have experienced were in California (private prop jet) and Italy (commercial 727).

They say dreams have some kind of meaning and maybe some of them do. One thing about nightmares they always have an element of fear in them and the fact we have lost control.

Fear is such a strong force that it can stop us from moving forward in our lives. The strange thing about fear is that we are not conscious of its presence. We allow it to manage our every move. We can’t control it because we can’t see it. We just allow it to stay there and hope that it will go away. The problem is that fear feeds itself on more fear.

The new agers will say that “they give their fear to a Higher Power, that force of unconditional love that lies in everything.” Their interpretation of a “higher power” probably needs a little refining….

I think that most of our fears are about control. For example, if we get afraid of not having enough money in the future, it is because we want to have our income and our security under our own control. We want to control every step of our future. It seems that the more we try to control our lives, the more fear will control us.

As a music consultant, I deal with this every day. How many talented musicians have I met that because of their fear of failing and losing control they never really give their talent a chance.  One thing about the entertainment business is that you cannot be afraid of falling on your face, it is the nature of this business. What makes it worse is you are in the public eye – the more popular you get the more the exposure, just ask Fergie.


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